All and sundry have been prying to figure out who is www.montreal-clubs.com. Well, if you haven’t read their first interview with the Montreal Gazette, here is another opportunity to find out the women (and men) behind the dot com.
Signed to a confidentiality waiver, I cannot disclose real names, quotes, or photos, but with astute observation, you can read between the lines and put together the pieces of the puzzle (the corner pieces are missing, because my brother ate them).
I found all of the co-founders hanging out in their office, sitting around in a circle, and praying to the gods of optical bandwidth. Their hospitality was unparallel. I was offered Krispy Kreme and White Russians (ed. Note: I think she meant a White Bulgarian) before the interview. I declined both offers, for this was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I didn’t want to throw my metabolism into a kilter.
Blah, blah, blah (ed. Note: man, can this chick ramble on…I edited the previous paragraph so we could all get to the chase).
“Basically, the design and the guts (code) of the website were provided by the Eastern Block. Bulgaria played a big role in developing the look and feel of the site. Can’t you tell? I mean, if you look at the colors closely, you can make out its flag.” Added Yougenius, the man behind the Java Script and PHP.
Yougenius, whom has a close resemblance to Georgi Parvanov’s (Bulgarian president) hairdresser. He, along with other Bulgarians, has put together the machine, and a well oiled machine it is. As I was getting into Yougenius’s psyche, I was interrupted by Konan. Konan is a powerful German import, much like a BMW, but with double the air bags.
“We plan on expanding our business to levels beyond my Tetris high score. Once we procure the necessary funds, we plan on taking our blueprint for montreal-clubs.com and imprinting it onto other major cities in the world. Once we reach this level, will we then stop and smell the roses,” says Konan. While he was spitting out these magical words, I could notice that he was spitting them out to a rhythm. At the time, I couldn’t put my finger on it, but now that I think about it, he was speaking to the Rolling Stone’s “Satisfaction” instrumental. Creepy man, creepy!
There are many writers that make up the content for the site; and all of them talented to the teeth. Most of their writers scribe for other newspapers, magazines, and online-zines. There are also photographers, whom take time from their busy life to capture images of beautiful bartenders and waitresses. I pity their job.
Another one of the co-founders, Fabrizio, is equivalent to Voltron’s head. The brains behind the brains behind the brains. He is also the poster boy for the dot com. He looks and speaks the part. What does that mean? Well, he looks like a club and speaks like a lounge. Does that clear it up? Well, maybe this quote will:
“Dude, don’t do that.” Says Fabrizio.
Well, I’ve reached the word limit quota. A couple of more words and I will go over, which means that it probably won’t get…