A Woman's Guide to Picking Up Men
The art of picking up men is a much more intricate task than what most men (and women) believe…or maybe it isn’t. The average man feels that the female of the species can get anything she wants. It’s true. However, what most men don’t know is that this is a result of careful and mischievous planning. So I, Annabelle, will reveal my secrets of seducing gentlemen in nightlife settings and show you how I use my “feminine charm.”
Five Steps to a Successful Seduction
- Rule number one: men want to be in control (or at least like to think that they are). You must lure him over. Throw a couple of enticing glances his way… but, be careful of those intense stares – it might scare him away. "Laser eyes" can only cause damage to your game and retina. You can also add sultry smiles and suggestive lip biting. On the other hand, guys are known to be complete retards…and that’s on a good day. So when the situation gets critical, put subtlety aside and resort to the type of flirting a lobotomy patient would understand. Don’t be afraid to seduce him with your assets. Ladies, you know what I mean: if you have nice legs then kick them out, if you’ve got a flat stomach then bare your midriff, and if you’re well endowed, flaunt it!
- Touching is good. Now don’t go rubbing yourself all over that poor soul, but a casual touch on the arm after a cute joke or brushing away a misplaced strand of hair reminds him of both your, and his, body. Definitely a good thing.
- Now that he’s getting a little more comfortable, offer to order him your favorite “man drink” to see if he is open minded and compatible. If he doesn’t like it then he is both incompatible and closed minded… Abort! My “man drink” is Scotch; I love a man who drinks Scotch!
- Even in these times of Christina Aguilera and Anna Nicole Smith, a touch of class still goes a long way. Slutty is NOT sexy. But you have to show him that you’re not just about to enroll in a nunnery. Party with him a bit by ordering yourself a drink along with the one in step 3. Talk about fun and sexy stuff, as well as guy stuff – just don’t go overboard…he might actually think you’re a weirdo and get turned off.
- At this point, it’s pretty much in the bag – he feels comfortable with you and thinks you’re cool too. It’s up to you whether or not you want to make the next move (i.e. exchange phone numbers or invite him back for a night cap). Personally, I think this should be the man’s job, but to each his own…
But what if he’s still not responding – it might mean two things – he’s either dumber than he looks or just not interested…you can’t win them all, besides he doesn’t know what he’s missing – I, for one, know I’m not going to be missing much! Well, that’s all ladies, now go forth and get that man of your dreams!
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