Would you like a Scotch, Heineken, or any other aphrodisiac?
According to an infamous doctor that we all love to hate, “alcohol increases the libido of both males and females by increasing the body’s testosterone levels – yes women do have testosterone.” Even small levels of alcohol can drastically increase someone’s sex-drive…even that of the most timid person in the joint (did I just say joint – wrong column). But are all drinks an equal aphrodisiac? Read on a learn how to maximize sin in the city!
This is an extremely potent alcohol and is (or was) widely used as an aphrodisiac by Europeans. There’s a problem…obviously life can’t be that easy…and it is two-fold (1) the pure Absinthe is illegal in Canada and (2) the absinthe that you can buy (street legal) has been striped of its potent ingredient. So basically, it sucks now! But here is a hint, Absinthe can be found in certain regions of Canada, especially where the Inuit’s frolic.
Wine is the best aphrodisiac around, with the exception of Spanish Fly - I swear by that. Of the vast selection of wine that is available, Port (originating from Portugal) is the best around – especially white Port. It’s said to be especially efficient when served with strawberries. Wine is also a great mood setter.
Just make sure you don’t drink too much of it…wine has a tendency to make you tired instead of sexually charged.
Beer is probably THE WORST aphrodisiac ever! It has low alcohol levels, so you have to drink a lot of it to attain the desired state. Moreover, it’s very filling, so you’ll probably end-up bloated and peeing all over the place…it also leaves a bad taste in your mouth and beer breath ain’t too hot buddy. Also, many girls tend to not appreciate its taste too much. The redeeming factor – it’s cheap (you cheap bastards!) and if you have either really low or really high alcohol tolerance, this might just do the trick!
Liquor is always a good bet – high levels of alcohol lead to quicker relieving of inhibitions. Some liquors such as: Charltreuse, Benedictine and the Mexican Crème de Damiana are rumoured to have higher aphrodisiac qualities.
WARNING! – Because of the higher levels of alcohol, you’ll have to pace yourself a lot more or all you guys will end up softer than a monkey’s tail…
That pretty much covers it. Now go pick up a damsel in distress and ease her worries with a nice glass of fine Porto!
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