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A cure for hangovers

by Bender

Alcohol - a vile temptress she is, and chances are you've come across her path once or twice and will come inching back, time and time again, like any good party-thirsty Montreal…or any knowledgeable visitor that knows where the party's at. Although it's a depressant that might make you rowdy and obnoxious to others, it's all in good fun and chances are you'll bump into a couple people that are on the same wavelength as you are (oh yeah, it's not like we at Montreal-Clubs.com, condone drinking yourself silly or anything like that…). But after the partying is done (if ever): Kapow! the famous deadly bite stings and hits you like a speeding Mack truck! Epic benders have the dirty habit of making you pay (and pay dearly) for all the fun, stupidities and half-conscious rolls-in-the-hay. But as good old Winston Churchill liked to say, he had gotten more out of lady liquor than she had gotten out of him. Armed with the following pearls of wisdom, you too will be able to tie one on and party like it's spring break all over again and…heh, live to talk about it…

As Montrealers, we've all partied way too much for our own good and attempted to deal with the 'aftershock,' so to speak. So what we've done here, is taken our years of experience, read-up on the matter (see what we do for you), and spoken to some of you out there and compiled a handbook of some sorts to help us go out on Monday and go to work to following day. We like to call it: 'Tales from the Keg.'

First, you gotta know what's going on in the inside (and I've researched this, so you'd better enjoy it too).

  1. Dehydration. Alcohol drains an ocean's-load worth of water from your body (along with tons of important vitamins), and since your body is mainly H2O…drainage is definitely not a good thing, but it's inevitable (ever heard of breaking the seal).
  2. Shock. Alcohol is a depressant, so when it's consumed in mass quantities your body goes into this whole action/reaction thing. To compensate for the dulling, your nerves enter a hypersensitive state, making the whole state of things really unbearable the next day (i.e.: this is probably why you can't bear your younger sister blasting her Britney Spears record in the morning - at least it might be one of the reasons). So, to compensate for the lower heart rate, your blood vessels increase in size, which is believed to be the main cause of the headache, as your vessels literally 'pinch' your brain.
  3. Malnutrition. As previously mentioned, your frequent trips to the john rid your body of vital nutrients and vitamins that normally help to self-regulate and maintain equilibrium; without them you're in a state of virtual chaos.
  4. Unsolved Mysteries. There's a whole lot of other stuff going on that even the biggest nerd in your biology class can't explain (well actually they can, but it's friggin' complicated) and it has to do with 'congeners' (i.e.: well, do you really care what it is? If you do call 1-800-IMA-GEEK) and your liver working overtime.

...Continue





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