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Sat 29::gay roman
Sat 29::gay roman
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Here are the to 10 signs of alcoholism

by Dr. Bender

So you got shit-faced at a party – just when that hottie from your psych class was there. Good going! But you’re not necessarily a lost cause…then again maybe you are. What if you’re an alcoholic (and not the productive, functional type like us at Montreal-Clubs.com)? Did you ever think of that? Hun, did you?

Well here’s a top-10 list of signs that you’re an alcoholic…or suffer from sexual dysfunctions, whichever:

10 – Low concentration skills due to a constant state of drunkenness followed by mind-numbing hangovers, which, in turn, leads to irrational behaviour, like wearing white socks with dress shoes and “forgetting” to wear pants.

9 – Important social, occupational, or recreational activities (such as knitting and perfecting the “stranger technique”) are given up or reduced because of alcohol use.

8 – A great deal of time is spent abusing alcohol, or recovering from hangovers (don’t count spring-break time…that’s like an alcoholic free-be).

7 – The excessive amounts of alcohol have killed your brain cells and you start forgetting appropriate social norms and start sniffing the stench emanating from your belly button (i.e. belly stink)

6 – You’ve already considered moving to Russia

5 – You find Anna Nicole Smith attractive

4 – You find yourself asking the question “what's a sign that someone is an alcoholic?”

3 – Xzibit’s song, Alcoholic, somehow rings true to you

2 – You start personifying your alcohol. As in: “Let’s go pick up Skyy!” or “No, I’m sorry this seat is taken…Bud’s sitting here” or even “Captain Morgan’s really shy, but I hear he’s amazing in the sac”

1 – You name and model yourself after alcohol brands. For example:
Name: Molson Smooth Dry
Motto: “An easy drinking beer, that really goes down well.”
Name: Dr. Smooth
Motto: “An easy guy, that really goes down well.”





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