Let the spring-time drinking marathon begin!
Now that the winter has hidden its ugly face it’s time to take your drinking out of the basement and bring it onto the streets (well terraces actually). With the spring also comes the end of the pansy-assed winter days that last only a few hours. Public drinking, coupled with longer days – and you know what that means: there’s a drinking marathon to be run! Unless you actually are hell-bent on making a total fool out of yourself before the sun has even set or passing out even before your parents decide to call it a night, you’ll need a couple of tricks that will help you drink through the afternoon and well into the night! So go ahead and read on and you’ll be set to take home the big prize!
Tip 1: Build your endurance
There’s much to be said about practice. Don’t worry it’s less work than it sounds and can actually be pretty fun – in a functional alcoholic type of way. Like for any major event you need to shape-up before hand, so I would recommend building up your tolerance to alcohol and its effects. All you need is to take a drink – daily. Grab a beer while grilling those T-bone steaks, working on your mom’s Minivan or shaving your shoulders. Or call your friends over; pour yourselves a glass of Bailey’s and watch the latest Friends rerun before the NYC clique calls it quits. Regular intakes of small amounts of alcohol will increase your tolerance without having you suffer the negative consequences (hangovers, drowsiness, impotence, etc.). Next thing you know you’ll be drinking all your co-workers under the table, get crowned the party person of the office and then sent off to rehab…enjoy!
Tip 2: Pace your self man!
If you don’t want to keel over before the end of the race, it’s a good idea not to break into a drinking sprint as soon as you hit the track. The spring brings out a lot of energy, in Summer-starved Montrealers – the sun, the BBQs and camping trips, the long fun-filled nights, the beautiful people and, er, wait what was I talking about?… anyway the spring has a way of hyping you into making you overestimate your drinking abilities, so it’s better for you to watch what you’re doing. While in the sun, I would recommend drinking a beer every half hour or so and mix in some water in the rotation and keep the intakes under control all through the night (and of course, don’t drink on an empty stomach), that way you’ll be able to sustain your energy and take home the gold.
Tip 3: Shed the weight
I don’t mean you should go hit the gym (although it wouldn’t kill you to lose that winter belly, you fatso). If you’re going to run a marathon, you have to be using light equipment. So leave the heavy beers like Guiness and really any stouts (those are all the dark beers that are potent enough to fuel a small car). As a matter of fact, I would stick to lagers – they are lighter, have less alcohol and are generally easier to take. Coronas and Sols are good bets, but there are a ton of local equivalents. Finally, avoid the hard drinks, there’s too much alcohol and you won’t be able to keep up for long and mixed drinks will make you forget that you’re drinking alcohol and well, needless to say, you’ll be stumbling over long before the finish line.
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