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> NEW YEARS EVE
Why wait? Plan your New Years early.





Don't let NYE catch you with your pants down.



by The Living Legend

Or how Rum still helps to build the socialist paradise of Cuba

Continued from Che's Cayo Coco

For the rest of the stay, time literally ceased to have any meaning. Sleep - if ever - usually occurred between dawn and 3pm, and the sun merely indicated the time of day where the social life center moved towards the beach, and that the main buffet was open. A few times we just raised some eyebrows when going for breakfast at 7am fully dressed after a sleepless night at the beach. Speaking about food tips - the only sacred gastronomical rule were to avoid drinking tap water, if one didn't want a 2 week stay in a Cuban bathroom, along with a simple medical fact that bacteria cannot survived in ethanol. Name it, you'll get it - beer, vodka, rum, tequila, scotch, bailey's, amongst other less known drinks which seemed to be more suited as scooter fuels. Did I mention all of those were basically on tap? Adding to that the fact than any non-poisonous drinks were literally awful (coke - or cubacola tasted like tar with sugar, the juices were made out of green powder, and sprite made a metal spoon dissolve in an hour), it becomes medically certified that a human body can sustain itself on booze for at least 14 days. If you think you can't handle it, stay in your sandboxes. Otherwise, pump up your liver, and 2 weeks of seriously abused open bar will mean no headaches, no after-drinking syndrome, but an endless energizing alcohol pump through your heart. There, hangovers are for babies.

Final tips on what to bring for such an expedition, asides from the aforementioned swimgear - a big mug, unless you want to be served all the time in anonymous plastic cups. Remember, it's on tap - all gets filled to the top. Yes, you will socialize less often in the line in front of the bar, but hearing a sensual female voice behind you saying "wow, that's big" not only establishes you as the dominant male amongst less wise and foreseeing crowd, but usually also means you wont need to think of any pickup line for quite a while. A 2nd very useful tool is a nice afterburn (not afterburner) spray, or anything to calm a fragile skin hit by the sun. Everyone burns some part at some point, and while a few shooters followed by a midnight swim are more than enough for guys, you will score quite high if a lady in pain discovers you have the magical potion to make her feel better. This is also where you will REALLY appreciate how fast information spreads amongst girls, not to mention if you have even remotely basic massage skills… are

Having used your mug/spray for first contact, if you're lucky enough to get to business later in the night, make sure u have something to avoid realizing you're a father of a few kids 9 months later. Don't underestimate the quantity and the quality you'll need - you're not the only one in the resort, days have 24 hours, bars are full, and there's a bunch of roaming latino animation guys who - face it - dance better, seduce faster, talk less, and are more tanned, exotic, and popular than you will ever be. Not to mention they were in business getting a fresh tourists delivery every week for the entire year while u were still wearing diapers. Keep it in mind, but don't let it slow you down - and it will be a trip of your lifetime.





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