be smart, donít be late for NYE
HOME | NIGHTLIFE | EDITORIALS | CULTURE | REVIEWS | PARTIES | MONTREAL NEW YEARS | NIGHTLIFE PICS 

NYE & Random Party Listings
 :: 
 :: 
 :: 
 :: 
Montreal's Nightlife Source
> reviews of clubs, bars, pubs & lounges.
> the best tourist information
> Montreal nightlife picture gallery
> FREE events listings
> NEW YEARS EVE
Don't let NYE catch you with your pants down.





Don't let your friends steal the entire NYE spotlight from you.


Updated on the 15 th of every month

by Dr.Bender

First off I would like to apologize for the lack of updates as of late. We've been pretty busy with being lazy and what not. Also we've been going through some tough times personally so I'm sure you can understand. We've all been there and surely, you can relate...don't you hate it when one girl from your harem breaks away to become a lesbian with a girl from your best friend's harem? Or when your diamond wallet can't fit more than thirty $100 bills? And the worse is when your gold plated hockey sticks breaks on the first shots and it becomes totally useless. Anyways, I'm sorry for venting on you guys like that. Let's move on....

In this post something-or-other day world, not many things come to mind (mainly because the mind has been fucked by all the beer and other alcoholic products). In fact the only thoughts really involve just that - beer and its effects. Being a so called expert on the matter I have decided to ponder the matter more in depth - actually, our editor kind of forced the idea on me, but on the plus side I get to avoid any type of serious work.

The goal, I was told, should be to help those of you out there still wondering if it's all worth it...or at the very least, it should give you some quality reading material in order to help you get through the day. So that pretty much eliminated all the best topics - such as "A multi-national observation of the changing perception of alcohol in modern Canadian, American and Irish societies" or even "What the hell is the point of .5% beer anyway?" Luckily, my weekly debaucheries have come in handy for once and I have settled one topic -

Alcohol: Friend or Foe?

Friend
A state of drunkenness can lead to many beautiful things. From great encounters to unforgettable memories...granted people sometimes have to remind you that these things happened...but after that they become memories.

Foe
Like a double-edged sword and any other tool that cuts on both sides, alcohol has a flip side. Like forgettable memories: tattoos of women on visible body parts, piercing of areas that don't really need to be pierced, putting on compromising clothes and then pictures being taken of you in these clothes.

Friend
Alcohol lowering inhibitions you can attempt with more ease to convince women that you're able to satisfy them both simultaneously.

Foe
Alcohol increases your clumsiness and you DO NOT want to be caught in bed with two unsatisfied women...um...so I've heard.

Friend
It can help you finally to hook up with that someone you've been wanting for quite sometime.

Foe
I can help you finally realise that someone is quite frankly not as interesting as some of the things they do.

Friend
You can come out of your shell long enough to tell a friend something you would never ever say under normal circumstances...and since you're drunk; you can deny you said it and stick to that story, because, as you know, my motto still is "If it I don't remember it, it never happened"

Foe
In that same vein you can also tell off that guy you never liked and say you boned his sisters and that they loved it.

Friend
The post drinking stop at a restaurant and practically having sex with the food you're eating.

Foe
The post food-sex extravaganza and practically having oral sex with the toilet bowl (...puking...in case my analogy went too far off back there).

Friend
It's a great excuse for doing stupid things: "Why the hell did you drive the lawn mower into the den?" "'Cuz I was drunk?"

"Get your hands off me!" "Sorry, I'm pretty drunk"

"How could you forget to go to your sister's wedding?" "Um...drunk?"

"Why can't you put it in???" "Hey! Gimme a break...I'm pretty drunk here...and, it IS in..."

Foe
When you keep using these excuses you eventually and quite unfairly fall under the "alcoholic" label.

Friend
You can get on the good side of your girlfriend's dad if you can show that you can out booze him and still stand up with pants on.

Foe
He could be setting you up so you fall down with no pants on by filling your drink with real booze while he's drinking tang or something like that.

In any case whether it is friend or foe, one thing's for sure...it gives you great stories to tell. And who knows one day you'll have enough stories to help us write an actual interesting article.





HOME | NIGHTLIFE | EDITORIAL | CULTURE | NIGHTCLUB REVIEWS | SPECIAL EVENTS
MESSAGE BOARD | MONTREAL NIGHTLIFE PICS | TOURIST INFO | NEW YEARS 2016
MONTREAL NEW YEAR'S EVE CALENDAR | MONTREAL-CLUBS CLOTHING | MONTREAL SOUVENIRS & GIFTS
ARCHIVED ARTICLES | ABOUT US