Updated on the 15 th of every month
First off I would like to apologize for the lack of updates as of late. We've been pretty busy with being lazy and what not. Also we've been going through some tough times personally so I'm sure you can understand. We've all been there and surely, you can relate...don't you hate it when one girl from your harem breaks away to become a lesbian with a girl from your best friend's harem? Or when your diamond wallet can't fit more than thirty $100 bills? And the worse is when your gold plated hockey sticks breaks on the first shots and it becomes totally useless. Anyways, I'm sorry for venting on you guys like that. Let's move on....
In this post something-or-other day world, not many things come to mind (mainly because the mind has been fucked by all the beer and other alcoholic products). In fact the only thoughts really involve just that - beer and its effects. Being a so called expert on the matter I have decided to ponder the matter more in depth - actually, our editor kind of forced the idea on me, but on the plus side I get to avoid any type of serious work.
The goal, I was told, should be to help those of you out there still wondering if it's all worth it...or at the very least, it should give you some quality reading material in order to help you get through the day. So that pretty much eliminated all the best topics - such as "A multi-national observation of the changing perception of alcohol in modern Canadian, American and Irish societies" or even "What the hell is the point of .5% beer anyway?" Luckily, my weekly debaucheries have come in handy for once and I have settled one topic -
Alcohol: Friend or Foe?
A state of drunkenness can lead to many beautiful things. From great encounters to unforgettable memories...granted people sometimes have to remind you that these things happened...but after that they become memories.
Like a double-edged sword and any other tool that cuts on both sides, alcohol has a flip side. Like forgettable memories: tattoos of women on visible body parts, piercing of areas that don't really need to be pierced, putting on compromising clothes and then pictures being taken of you in these clothes.
Alcohol lowering inhibitions you can attempt with more ease to convince women that you're able to satisfy them both simultaneously.
Alcohol increases your clumsiness and you DO NOT want to be caught in bed with two unsatisfied women...um...so I've heard.
It can help you finally to hook up with that someone you've been wanting for quite sometime.
I can help you finally realise that someone is quite frankly not as interesting as some of the things they do.
You can come out of your shell long enough to tell a friend something you would never ever say under normal circumstances...and since you're drunk; you can deny you said it and stick to that story, because, as you know, my motto still is "If it I don't remember it, it never happened"
In that same vein you can also tell off that guy you never liked and say you boned his sisters and that they loved it.
The post drinking stop at a restaurant and practically having sex with the food you're eating.
The post food-sex extravaganza and practically having oral sex with the toilet bowl (...puking...in case my analogy went too far off back there).
It's a great excuse for doing stupid things: "Why the hell did you drive the lawn mower into the den?" "'Cuz I was drunk?"
"Get your hands off me!" "Sorry, I'm pretty drunk"
"How could you forget to go to your sister's wedding?" "Um...drunk?"
"Why can't you put it in???" "Hey! Gimme a break...I'm pretty drunk here...and, it IS in..."
When you keep using these excuses you eventually and quite unfairly fall under the "alcoholic" label.
You can get on the good side of your girlfriend's dad if you can show that you can out booze him and still stand up with pants on.
He could be setting you up so you fall down with no pants on by filling your drink with real booze while he's drinking tang or something like that.
In any case whether it is friend or foe, one thing's for sure...it gives you great stories to tell. And who knows one day you'll have enough stories to help us write an actual interesting article.
Latest Article :: Why Every Girl Should Drink Beer
Archived Articles :: [ALL archived articles here]
The bigger the better, long live the 40
Two weeks in heaven, Cayo Coco, Part 2
Two weeks in heaven, Cayo Coco
Beer Goggles part deux
How to Fill up your Liquor Cabinet
Alcohol: Friend or Foe?
Beyond Wurst and Beer... Drinking in Germany
If I Don't Remeber It, It Never Happened
Random List or New Year's Resolution
Bad to the Beer
Taste it Again for the First TIme
Wild Nights and Crazy Days
Martini. Shaken, not stirred
Drunken Master, Hidden Wallet
Alcohol, Disihibition, and Sexual Arousal
Taking Care of Business
So you're a raging alcoholic