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Why wait? Plan your New Years early.





Don't let NYE catch you with your pants down.



Judgement Day

by Subject X.


Let me bring those of you who had the great misfortune of missing the last installment of Subject X up to speed: I, Subject X, embarked on a journey of three dates in three days with three girls I did not previously know in the hopes of proving to my best friend Jesse and, more importantly, to myself, that I did not, as he claimed, "suck at dating."

Each date was asked to provide a written assessment of my dating skills, so now, with the variables of this experiment fully calculated and considered, letís begin with date #1.

The Setting Thursday evening at some random little cozy bar up on St. Laurent. Iím sitting across the table from Amie and Iím very aware of the ďwhat is she doing with himĒ looks that Iím receiving from about a dozen half-drunk men. But Ė if Iím being honest Ė I canít say I blame them; Iíd probably be thinking the very same thing if I were them.

She said I thought the date went well. There werenít any awkward silences and he definitely made me laugh a number of times. Subject X was a perfect gentleman throughout the night and even let me win when we played pool [ummmÖrightÖlet her winÖ thatís what happened]. He did seem a little distracted by the other men at the bar but I definitely didnít get the gay vibe from him so I donít know what that was all about [once again a male in elementary education is forced to cope with the unavoidable "he must be gay" hurdle]. At the end of the night Subject X walked me home and, refreshingly enough, didnít try to tongue-massage my tonsils. Overall, I would give this date an A minus. I would definitely be into a second date but only if he could convince me that I wasnít just another "subject."

So he said: An A minusÖ wowÖwho wouldíve thunk it? I also thought the date went great but didnít think I had anything to do with it. Take that, lecherous middle-aged drunk men.

Score Jesse: 0 SubjectX: 1

Date #2

Setting Itís Friday night and Iím meeting Erin at some bar on St. Denis. Iím 20 minutes late and a little drunk (and I use the term "a little" quite loosely) on account of a roommate poker/drinking game in which I did not fare very well.

She said Iím not a very demanding individual but I do feel that itís in slightly bad taste to arrive to a first date drunk and 45 minutes late [so apparently my sense of time is not top notch when Iíve been drinking]. The bar we were at was also very loud and it was extremely hard to hold a conversation. We eventually went out on the dance floor and that was nice for a while but when we sat back down again it seemed as if Subject X had run out of steam [I obviously failed miserably at navigating the drunk and lively/drunk and half-passed out line]. Eventually Subject X walked me home and the fresh air seemed to rejuvenate him and we had some good conversations. But it was too little too late. I give this date a C minus and I do not think I would be interested in a second date.

So he said OOPS! I did call Erin the following morning and apologized my heart out. Listen, you win some; you lose someÖand someÖyou just forget how to play.

Total Score Jesse: 1 SubjectX: 1

Date #3

Setting Itís Saturday and Iím meeting Genevieve for a Montreal-style breakfast (at 1pm) and the deciding grade on my dateability. Iím a little hung-over and feeling pretty insecure about my dating skills due to the pre-mentioned dating disaster. It doesnít make me feel any more at ease when Genevieve walks into the restaurant looking like an A list supermodel.

She said Subject X seemed a little nervous for the first few minutes of our date but I thought it was very cute. He did forget to pull out my chair for me but I forgave him [the chair. Of course! What was I thinking? My mother would be so disappointed]. Breakfast went very well and we found out that we have a lot in common. I especially liked that Subject X seemed very interested in what I was saying and didnít take over the conversation and try to impress me like so many other guys [ohÖummmÖI thought I was trying]. When we were done, Subject X paid the bill like all good boys should [I think this was a jokeÖhopefully] and helped me with my jacket. Then we walked together to my apartment where he gave me a nice hug. I give this date an A minus and would like to set up Subject X with one of my friends but I would not be interested in a second date because I donít think my boyfriend would like that.

So he said Boyfriend?? What boyfriend? HmmÖdidnít see that one coming.

Final Score Jesse: 1 SubjectX: 1 Genevieveís boyfriend: 1.5

The Verdict Iím not quite sure all this means anything at all but my B-ish average seems to indicate that while Iím no Casanova, I am also no George Costansa and hey, thatís good enough for me!






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