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by Dr. Smooth's pupil


Still looking for Dr. Smooth?
Don't freak out, Dr. Smooth is not really dead; he's just on a prolongated vacation. He seems to have vanished from under the sun, and is nowhere to be seen in his regular hang out lairs. So I find asking myself, where the hell is this friend and mentor of mine? Where is his wisdom and experience in the art of courtship, now that it has started snowing and hearts are frozen; bref, now that it is needed the most.

This mysterious disappearance is nothing new. As Holmes would put it: "Elementary Dr. Wadson, your colleague Dr. Smooth has the case of the vanished". The case of the vanished is that troubling time of change, when a good friend, due to cyclone-like forces, changes drastically his life style or even disappears from his tension-crippled group of ol' budies (as they like to call them selves).

This state of affairs allows for a lot of speculation, guessing and imagination. Where is really our beloved Dr. Smooth? Obviously this is intended to be a general study on the possible causes of the case of the vanished. We use Dr Smooth as an example because he is close to our hearts, but the conclusions drawn here can be applied to everyone. So here are some of the possible scenarios:

Dr Smooth has lost his smoothness

Scenario
Dr. Smooth just ain't got the touch no more. His magic-like charm has suddenly and unexpectedly disappeared. As a result, Dr. Smooth feels like he can no longer live the pimp life like he used to, and has thus opted for a new and more adequate surrounding.

Probability
Simply impossible. I have personally known Dr. Smooth for a long enough time to know that his god given smoothness is undeletable. Just to put in perspective, moments after baby Dr. Smooth was delivered into this world, he had two sets of digits from two different nurses.

Dr Smooth is married

Scenario
Faster than you can say the word fast, Dr Smooth had a golden ring slipped on his pinkie finger. He now spends every free minute with his life-long partner, sipping on lattes, wearing comfy slippers and indulging in the simple yet powerful little pleasures of monogamous life.

Probability
Close to nil. Simply because no women is self-sacrificial enough to devote the rest of her life to our beloved Dr.

Dr Smooth has found his match

Scenario
An uber-smooth woman has crossed Dr. Smooth's path, and the collision of all this smoothness has provoked a reaction previously unheard off. With a quasy-obsessive drive, Dr Smooth is doing everything in his power to over-smooth this competitor, and has absolutely no time for anything else.

Probability
Unlikely, but not impossible. Like professional athletes, the smoothness factor drives people to extremely competitive behaviour.

Dr. Smooth doesn't like us anymore

Scenario
After years of back-stabbing double-faced friendship coming from this side of the fence, Dr. Smooth has finally decided that this current group is composed of too many a## holes, and has cut all ties, without the required head-to-head break up.

Probability
Very probable. I guess that will teach us…





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