be smart, don’t be late for NYE
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Don't let NYE catch you with your pants down.





Don't let your friends steal the entire NYE spotlight from you.



by Dr. Smooth

I am going to provide some useful tips on how to pick up Montreal Men and Women. Since Montrealers are both diverse and cultured we need to devise an innovative pick up method that can span all styles. A good way of dividing the 'pick up methods' is to separate them into 5 different locations of encounter: Clubs, Bars, Lounges, Coffee Shops, and on the Street (mainly the downtown streets and for those interested in the Ste-Catherine and Ontario Street babies then that just takes a little bit of cash and some negotiating skills…and maybe a brown paper bag for the low cost pooches.)

Top 5 Women NOT to approach in Mtl
  1. Women that are dancing closely with their many girlfriends. They have boyfriends and they're trying to lure you in for some free drinks and then deliver the polite "No thanks! I'm not interested." line at the end of the night.
  2. Women who are out of your league. Don't go wasting your at bats and go settle for something you can swing and hit so you can produce some Tony Gwynn stats.
  3. A woman that has NOT given you a look.
  4. The waitress, bartender, or hostess. It's their job to be nice to you and everybody hits on them…unless you're good-looking and famous then please don't bother.
  5. Lesbians. If two women are kissing and groping each other just sit back and enjoy the show and don't spoil it for the rest of the guys…remember it is a fellowship; we're all in this together.

Top 5 Men NOT to approach in Mtl
  1. Gay males. Whatever you're thinking you can't do it, it won't work, and don't bother.
  2. Guys with girlfriends at the club. Montreal girlfriends are ferocious and malevolent. If you stare too long you might get a stiletto slap.
  3. There are no other types of men you shouldn't approach.
  4. ...
  5. ...


How to Score MTL Women
  1. When a Montreal woman is interested in you she won't be as obvious as other women in different cities/countries (not all of the time). So be aware of your surroundings and catch all of the glimpses that are being thrown at you. If the 'glimpse count' reaches 3 (the magic number) then move it slowly and with an air of confidence (if you don't have any then take a shot of Tequila).
  2. If you want to approach a woman on the dance floor do NOT approach her from behind; they don't like that. Instead approach her face first and if she smiles then move in.
  3. If you are besotted with a wallflower (a woman standing all alone against a wall) then the way to approach her with the greatest amount of success is to loom in with a non-predatory swagger and introduce yourself by making her laugh…always have a smile printed on your face. If nothing works then exhaust your last approach by offering her a drink but remember that Montreal women are notoriously known for draining your wallet without a ROI (return on investment).
  4. If you want to have a 'pick-up' night then go with no more than three canines. Make sure your wing-man likes and attracts a different type of woman because it will, more often than not, get frustrating competing for the same damsel.
  5. After hours is NOT the best route to pick up because they are all drugged up and in a state called Maine.
  6. Every night is a good night to pick up, especially the weekdays. The weekday women are usually single and more open to flirtation than the regular weekend crowd. This is based on experience and not speculation.





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