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Montreal's nightlife seen through the election goggles by Erjy Kolaskin

Why wait? Plan your New Years early.





Getting your NYE tickets here is simpler than shopping for shoes. Guaranteed.



Americans know how to pass the "GO VOTE" message across
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We're not the types to sit and drink silently on some terrasse on St-Denis while the federal elections are raging all around Montreal. We also have our two-cents to throw in this political fist-fight.

Montreal-Clubs.com has discovered, through professional pooling, that there is a direct mapping between Montreal's nightlife and the various political parties currently fighting for a piece of the tasty federal pie.

Our polls have scientifically proven a simple truth: the way you vote will influences the kind of nightlife spots you chill at. Or maybe it is the other way around; maybe the nightlife spot you get wasted at, will influence how you vote.

Regardless of this little uncertainty, here is the political divide we discovered in Montreal's Nightlife.

NDP and the Bifteck

If you're chilling at the Bifteck, there are 3 things we know about you with certainty:

  1. you like cheap water-flavored beer
  2. you're a student
  3. you vote for the NDP

The NDP's stronghold is still universities and students in general. Not having to work for the man or pay taxes to the man, these free spirited creatures (students that is) still believe in everything beautiful that the NDP tells them, but most importantly like to believe themselves to be left leaning.

Students are a gold mine for the NDP, considering they absorb anything thrown at them, from the existence of leprechauns, to the theories of Kant or (god forbids) Freud, this especially when drunk or smoked-up.

Other nightlife spots where NDP's orange colors can be spotted at are Bar des Pins or Benelux.

Bloc Quebecois and St-Sulpice

If you're paying 15$ for a pint of crappy beer at St-Sulpice, chances are that you're also getting your vote stolen by the Bloc Quebecois.

The St-Sulpice, has become a commercial and expensive "beer in a plastic cup" serving place. If you're still chilling there, that can only mean that you don't really care about how well you're treated or if you're getting you're money's worth. A huge terrasse and the far-flung chance of meeting a Quebecois girl are just enough for you. Using the same logic, you're satisfied by a federal party that has never been in the government, and will never be in it. Like a permanent opposition party, you're hanging-on to the St-Sulpice like it was still its cool 1998 incarnation.

Liberals and Joe Beef

If you have enough money to drink and eat-out all the time, but you make it a point to buy vintage jeans and runnings, if you're working a corporate job yet you mingle with the free spirits at the Tam Tams, then you're probably chilling at Joe Beef in the Atwater area and you're voting Liberal.

Even though the date with your hot but educated photographer girlfriend will set you back a few bills at Joe Beef, you still like to pretend that you're close to the people. Being close to the people doesn't prevent you from riding your one speed bike to St-Laurent street, pretending to have fun with your NDP friends at the Bifteak, while secretly longing for some quality beverages, good wines and scotches in company of your educated babe.

Other nightlife hangouts where free-spirited and open-walleted Liberals can be found are Café des Eclusiers (during the summer months) and Whisky Café.

Conservatives and Winnie's

At first our research was suggesting that people that vote Conservative don't go out clubbing at all (we couldn't find any out on the streets of Montreal), but eventually we discovered their secret lairs. Conservative voters like dark and damp places, where the light of social spending, equality or the providence state won't reach them. Preferring to minimize social interactions with other Montréalers, Conservative voters tend to coagulate around little-knowing and politically-innocent tourists, a lot of which are found at Winnie's, and which will not be asking too many questions about Harper's latest semi-truths while making out with the said Conservative voter.

Conservatives can also be observed in their natural habitat, keeping their head in the political-sand, in other tourist destinations such as Stogies or Thursday's.

Communists, Marxists, Anarchists and the Casa del Popolo.

This small but interesting group was also initially though not to be present in any bar, pub or nightlife destination at all. Eschewing and rejecting the power of money, these free spirits were thought to be drinking at home hunched over a tome by Trotsky, until our scientists located them at the aptly named Casa del Popolo. Another popular breeding ground for this rare species is Café Santropol.

The Greens and ...

Now, the Greens are the biggest mystery when it comes to partying in Montreal. We did all we could, approached hundreds of pretty gals and boys, all to no avail. The Green voter could not be located anywhere in Montreal's steaming partying scene.

Finally our immensely professional editorial staff postulated a hypothesis on the whereabouts of Green voters in Montreal. They are either tending to their indoors vegetable gardens, their all-year-long compost box or probably volunteering for a tree planting project in Latin America.

Should you be able to discover the Green's favorite spots for grabbing organic beer, please post a comment bellow and share this priceless information.

Alright, jokes aside, the elections are an important thing. And there are only 3 things you need to do:

  1. get informed from various professional news sources
  2. think for yourself and formulate your own ideas
  3. go and vote

Being brutally hungover or prepping for that uber-important date is no excuse to miss on the vote. Show these clowns in Ottawa that we have ideas, dreams, demands and responsibility vis-à-vis our fellow citizens and our common future.

PS: For some reason, Canadian politics don’t generate nearly as much excitement as American politics. Not too sure why.










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Comments
It's your turn now. So speak-up.

Great blog you have
Great blog you have here but I was wanting to know if you knew of any forums that cover the same topics discussed here? I’d really like to be a part of online community where I can get feed-back from other experienced people that share the same interest. If you have any remnocendatioms, please let me know. Thank you!
Written by Xadrian on 2016-12-22.

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