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Culture on a Shoestring by Erjy Kolaskyn

Getting your NYE tickets here is simpler than shopping for shoes. Guaranteed.

Don't let your friends steal the entire NYE spotlight from you.

Food is good, and so too must be work
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Itís Friday night, all the nightclubs are pumping music, but I am home in front of my computer, so might as well write you a little piece.

First, in all good manners, I should have introduced myself a while ago, so here we go. My name is Erjy, I am a English Lit grad from McGill. After a short and failed stint trying to write for the campusí newspaper, I graduated and found myself facing the cruel reality of the outside world.

The real world is much more selective then I thought it was. I sent my pieces to all the "real media" in Montreal. The Nightlife Magazine told me I should learn how to spell first, and the Hour told me I must have been high when I tried to pass my gibberish writing for creativity. I emailed my dream magazine, the Vice, but they responded in a brutal way, threatening legal action if I ever tried to contact them again. Even the crappy free dailies, you know that garbage that pollutes the metro every morning, didnít want to have anything to with me.

So I was forced to take just a regular, unglamorous job at a local unglamorous industrial giant, doing something that a monkey with a little training could do. A very smart monkey that is.

But eventually my big break came, when my old friends, the clowns at asked me write for them. Hopefully, Iíll get noticed now, and make it big.

So here you go, you now know everything about me.

And I finally can get to what I wanted to get to, the big question of the day: how do you get to enjoy at least some culture when youíre salary barely covers the monthly rent in Montrealís newly reinvigorated housing market? Long gone are the days of 450$ for a five and a half, and long gone are the days when you could afford a pack of cigarettes and go to see the Montreal Symphonic Orchestra the same night. So when you get tired of drinking relentlessly, remember the little points Iíll give you now.

For good cinema, forget the crooks at the Paramount. Instead go to Cinema du Parc, and they desperately need it, cause every few months they threaten of closing. Sundays and Mondays after 6PM are 2 for 1, so you and your lover can calmly nurse that hangover with a good movie that wont make you puke. You second and equally good option is líexCentris on St-Laurent. Admission is only 7$ at all times with your fake student id.

For music or theatre, youíll have to drag your rear back to the universities again. For example, the music faculty at McGill has affordable shows every week, and student theatre groups put up shows all year long, get the info on McGillís event listing page. LíUQAM puts up dirt cheap plays (4$), so if you understand la langue de MoliŤre get the latest listings here. Concordia isnít falling behind either, get the listings to their plays here.

As for music, well you have two options for getting your fix of new sounds: stealing from artists by downloading mp3s or following the indie scene. And if there is a scene that needs following and support in Montreal, it's got to be the indie music scene. Musicians are even less lucky than me, so please get informed on who's playing where by visiting the Voir's or the Mirror's live music listings as often as possible.

So thatís my good deeds for the month. No need to write for until next year, and I can finally proceed to getting drunk alone at home.

PS: If you want to reach me, just post on Montreal-Clubsí message board and I will answer.

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It's your turn now. So speak-up.

Fell out of bed feel
Fell out of bed feeling down. This has brgtihened my day!
Written by Ricky on 2016-05-19.

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