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Top 10 Signs that AskMen are Losers by Erjy Kolaskyn

Getting your NYE tickets here is simpler than shopping for shoes. Guaranteed.





Don't let your friends steal the entire NYE spotlight from you.



Much more successful with women than AskMen.
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Editorís Note We are sorry for insulting all losers out there by comparing AskMen to you.

I donít personally know the writers or editors of AskMen.com, but judging by the content of their site, the last time they enjoyed consensual sex with a human being probably pre-dates the launching of AskMen.

Here is how I got a hold of his information.

A couple of days ago, I was innocently browsing Netscape.com, checking out their new community oriented story submission system. The concept is simple and genius and, no, donít worry about it, Netscape did not come up with it. So here is the idea: users submit a link to a story they liked, other members vote on the submissions and stories with most votes go up the listings displayed on Netscape.com. That day, one of the stories that had crept up was from AskMen. I knew the site, I hadnít visited on it for ages, so I clicked on the story. What a mistake that was.

Back in the days AskMen used to be the online magazine by men for men. It was from Montreal, it was huge, it was a success story. Now, AksMen is a magazine by idiots from idiots, harsh statement but eloquently proved by these two articles, Training Your Girlfriend and Top 10: Signs She's Crazy. Reading these articles made me feel ashamed to be a man. Making me ashamed of anything is a huge achievement; I eat stuff off the ground without the slightest sentiment of discomfort.

Following their formula, I present you with the Top 10 Signs that AskMen are Loosers.

10. After all these years, AskMen is still only an online magazine. They suck too bad to actually have a printer agree to print their garbage on paper. After all, there is already enough litter in the street of Montreal from all these free dailies. Why add to the volume of garbage the City of Montreal has to pick up?

9. AskMen sold out in 2005 to some American company, IGN Entertainment. I say "to some" cause this IGN Entertainment seemed to be some kind of spam-like ring of huge websites filled with ads. Next thing I know, IGN is actually owned by Fox, yeah, Fox, the same people that produce Fox News and other dubious-quality media products and are trying to monopolize media of all sorts. Well, I have news for you Fox: you wonít succeed, at least Montreal-Clubs is not for sale. Ed. Note Not true. Fox please buy us for millions of dollars, Visa is chasing after us.

8. AskMen are so amazing that they cheat to get their stories to rank high on Netscape.com, as reported by Calacanis. They register numerous accounts and vote on their own stories, cause no one else would. Thatís just gold. Please vote for my stories too.

7. AskMen still does Top 10s, ten years after the fad has died. The last Top 10 I saw was in my high school newspaper; it was named Top 10 ways to score a date for the high school dance. David Letterman is an exception, heís allowed.

6. AskMen are the kings of cheap cheesy serotypes: "Guys -- unless theyíre gay -- arenít interested in having too many female "friends."". Thanks for just making me puke AskMen.

5. AskMen actively contributes to creating an artificial rift between the sexes and foster sexism and objectification of women with statements like " Sure, you want to make a good impression, but what you're really doing is catering to her to get sex.".

4. AskMen believes that when a girl "calls you endlessly", that's the number ten sign that she is crazy. Well, I have news for you AskMen: I personally know of much more cases of weirdos calling girls than the opposite.

3. AskIdiot (itís the new name I have personally given to AskMen) tries to teach men about sex through articles: "The Player is one of AskMen.comís most popular columnists for a reason: Heís helped thousands of readers dramatically improve their seduction and lovemaking skills.". Last time I checked, the saying "practice makes perfect" was still valid. Too-bad AskIdiot have had little of that.

2. AskIdiot have determined the monetary value of womenís interest: "How many times have you taken a woman out three times, spent well over $100, and now she doesn't even remember your name?". Thank you AskIdiot; I am finally supported in my claim that McDonalds makes the perfect restaurant for a date.

1. AskIdiot is just plain boring. They take all us all men for idiots, which is insulting.

Please, if you agree with me and do not like what you read on AskMen, let the editors know about it by emailing them at editorsletters@askmen.com. Hopefully we can encourage a more responsible editorial line and push them to publish a better quality product.

Then again, they are owned by FoxÖ.






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Comments
It's your turn now. So speak-up.

Yes, I do
So you think you have something smart to say?
Yes, smarter than your post anyways. Like everything in Montreal, you present an idea labeled progressive, feminist, etc. that's basically empty. I have news for you, dude, there's no content in what you wrote. You should read AskMen, because you need to become a better man.
Written by crossbade on 2014-10-27.

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