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A late night fast-food showdown by Erjy Kolaskin

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This is all the poutine you'll get from New York Fries.
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It's impossible not to know the all-too-common feeling of tumbling out of a nightclub, right after last call, reassembling your friends like a troop of deserting soldiers, and coming-up with the impossibly brilliant idea that you want to eat something.

Yes, eating after drinking is always a good idea: I am sure some brilliant PhD from McGill is conducting a decade long study of why this is exactly so, and could explain it. I can't, but I know that I always feel like eating a greasy poutine when there is too much beer in me.

And this brings me to another brilliant discovery: not everyone in Montreal might know where to devour that greasy gravy and cheese covered French-fries that is poutine. First, a disclaimer: I wasn't paid in any way, even in food, for writing this is calling on the clear winners of this vicious show-down. Everything I write here is not yet proven with a PhD and is simply personal opinion, acquired over years of sweaty late night drinking.

The smoked-meat smack-down: Main vs Schwartz's.

Schwartz's somehow has turned into one of the most famous attractions that Montreal has to offer. For sure their smoked-meat is amazing, if not the best. And the place feels authentic, with it's old and tight space and hard-core waiters ready to crack jokes on anything with anyone, and then kick you out as soon as you're done.

Main is like a shy and silent cousin to Schwartz. It's right across the street from Schwartz, and Main also sells tons of smoked meat.

But whereas almost everyone eats smoked meat at Schwartz's, Main has built a reputation of having amazing steaks. Don't get me wrong, I love smoked meat, but it can't compare to a huge and bleeding slab of meat.

Clear winner is Main. Added bonus: not only will you avoid annoying tourists at Main, but you might also run into Leonard Cohen. This is no joke, I saw him there a couple of years ago, and told the waitress: "Look, Leonard Cohen just walked in", only t have her respond "Yeah, it's nothing special. He always comes here when he's in town".

The poutine showdown: La Banquise vs Mamma's Pizza.

Don't be fooled by the pizza in Mamma's name: that place serves the meanest poutine, right on the corner of Pine and St-Urban.

Mamma's poutine is actually an outcast in the word of poutine. It's not made with the traditional cheese curds, but instead uses grated cheese. The fries and sauce are quite regular, but the grated cheese ads an amazing twist to the poutine. It ensures that the cheese is thoroughly melted and mixed with the gravy.

La Banquise on Rachel, is the king (or maybe I should say queen, because "la" is feminine) of poutines in Montreal. The place never closes and always has line-ups. They serve a few dozens different versions of the poutine, many of which contain meats and vegetables. Basically they have elevated poutine to the status of base meal on which you get your meats and other nutrients.

But this eclectic "improvements" and variations on the poutine that rules La Banquise has a turn-off effect on me. A poutine is supposed to be simple: three ingredients united in perfection. Ok, you can add one more thing, to change it up a bit. But La Banquise goes too far.

That's why I am calling Mamma's Pizza the winner here. Plus, as it was the case in the smoked-meat faceoff, by going to Mamma's you'll avoid the huge crowds of the more popular Banquise.

Shihs-taouks, hamburgers, and whatever else might tickle your fancy

You can't live in Montreal and escape the shish-taouks. Their simply good and simply everywhere. If you don't know what it is, go eat one, because I won't waste precious time describing the wonders of the taouk (as we connoisseurs' call it).

The best post-party taouk is actually on Crescent (believe it or not, Crescent has something good), and is called Boustan. The late political juggernaut Pierre-Elliot Trudeau like to eat his taouks there. That shows you that he was the man, and that Boustan is the place for taouks.

Obviously, hamburgers are another option for quenching your stomach with fat. Here you have the choice, as the best hamburger joints (like La Paryse) are well into their bed-time when you roll-out of the bars. So there is no clear night-time winner for hamburgers (leave a comment bellow if you think you know the city enough to call it).

To close this debate off, you can opt for many other delicacies such as hot-dogs, pizzas, onion-rings, french fries, and the lost keeps on growing.

But if you stick to the winners we have listed above, you too will be a winner in your constant struggle against late-night inebriation, and wasted nights of sleep.

PS: Stay tuned because next week we explore the exciting world of the morning-after, bringing you the heaviest brunches to cure that pounding head.

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It's your turn now. So speak-up.

Tego filmiku nie wid
Tego filmiku nie widziaÅ‚em… ale gdybym go zobaczyÅ‚ te 10 lat temu to pewnie moje podniecenie by wyglÄ…daÅ‚o tak: ‘JAAAA TRÓJWYMIAROWI PRZECIWNICY!!!! Ł81AAAŁ&#A22A;:D Jakby DNF wypuÅ›cili z takÄ… grafikÄ… jak jest na tym filmiku z ’98… to bym go kupiÅ‚, bo bardzo przypomina oryginaÅ‚ i z Å‚ezkÄ… w oku mógÅ‚bym go przechodzić X razy
Written by Kathreen on 2016-12-22.

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